Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: Retired Marine Colonel Andrew Milburn on Decision-Making Under Intense Stress, When Not To Obey Orders, Forming the Warrior Within, Dealing with Death and PTSD

Stories are one of the most powerful means of human connection and the human experience. Stories help us break through our own boundaries and connect with the lives of people far different from our own. And sometimes a story is not only riveting and touching on a personal level, but also highly relevant on a collective level, such as the story of my guests today, retired Marine Colonel, Andrew Milburn.

His book, When the Tempest Gathers, is a decorated Marine Special Operations Commander's account of three decades of frontline fighting from Somalia to Iraq. It's a visceral, brutally honest and heart-wrenching memoir of what it means to be a Marine fighting America's Wars.

And it is more than that. It is the extraordinary story of what it means to be a leader. It's a story about personal sacrifice and being in service to a greater cause.

And it is a story that confronts profound issues such as when not to obey orders.

In this conversation with Andrew, you'll hear:

-The unusual story how Andrew joined the Marine Corps...02:30

-What makes the Marine Corps so special in Andrew's view...07:30

-The sense of purpose and camaraderie: why Andrew dedicated 31 years of his life to the Marines...14:30

-The disconnect between service members and the American public: why the general public is not invested in America's wars, the lack of Congressional oversight and the problems this causes...21:40

-Among the first to land in Mogadishu, Somalia...26:08

-How smoking opium ultimately led to Andrew becoming a Colonel in the Marine Corps...31:00

-What caused affairs in Iraq to go south...34:20

-Why self defense doesn't justify everything...37:16

-The most important qualities a leader must have, military and beyond...41:45

-How to identify and overcome the "freeze" in decision making...46:37

-Humanizing the enemy and why it is morally and pragmatically important...49:38

-When not to obey orders...57:37

-Why blind obedience to a leader is problematic...01:09:10

-Being aware of the desire to do good vs. the potential to do bad...1:16:10

-Protecting the weak: the obligation of a country to look after its least capable citizens

-How Andrew's study of philosophy has informed the leader and warrior within himself...01:28:10

-Learning to deal with profound loss...01:33:37

-How to not fall into an abyss of grief...-1:40:13

-Andrew talks about his diagnosis with PTSD and the hesitancy to reveal "cracks in your edifice" when you come from a warrior culture...01:50:50

-The most damaging emotion of all: guilt and how to get over it...01:56:23

-The practices that has most profoundly affected Andrew's life...02:05:23